Helen Grose

Deaf Wish Tour Manager

People complete these to puff up, to feel good, to sit back pleased as punch, and relish in the likes that roll in.

The top ten facebook prompted quizzes that I totally did in the Deaf Wish tour van but too self-respecting/ashamed to share. The friendships I have with people on social media are all solid as a rock, so why wouldn't these sheer connections provide credible assumptions on my personality? I know unequivocally they’re gonna give you the cold-hard truth about “Things you never knew about yourself” or “When will I meet Mr. Right?”

  • 1. What city should you live in? “Cape town is calling”. LIKE HELL IT IS. I’d enjoy living in this city like a hole in the head. Columbus, OH please.

  • 2. Which sassy tree are you based on your zodiac? A tree with all foliage cut out to accommodate telephone wires going through it. Oh, what’s that? Telephone wires going straight through my face? Hadn’t noticed because I was too busy living my best life.

  • 3. Which “Friends” Character Should You Date Based On Your Breakfast Food Preferences? Spare me. I mean who in their right mind would waste their time on this. Joey Tribbiani.

  • 4. How do people evaluate your face? "My forehead". Not my nearly always gaping mouth that is incessantly yelling something or lettin' rip on a laugh. Yes definitely my strong forehead that has been under solid, hair sprayed bangs, unseen for two decades.

  • 5. What have you never known about yourself? “You have no idea how much your friends appreciate your loyalty. You’re a true friend”. That’s really kind, but more so the accurate insight to this loyalty is that I merely hang round like a bad smell for FOMO.

  • 6. Can you remember all of the ladies in Lou Bega’s Mambo No. 5? NAILED IT

  • 7. What do your friends say about your profile picture? “I have a heavenly appearance and am a role model for everyone.” Let it be known that my current picture is one of me holding a naked man in my arms with the strength of Atlas. Previous pictures include me leaping onto a hedge for no given reason, or playing dead in the aisle of an independent grocer.

  • 8. Which shot are you? A fireball. “Even if you cause headaches once in a while, you’re worth it! You take one’s breath away, and are terrific.” My shout.

  • 9. In which bird does your soul live? This one is a hands down corker. “Your soul wants to be free as a bird. You don't care about what other people think of you, you just continue your way. You fly to the horizon and further. You are an independent person, which is why your soul loves to feel the wind". Then it assigns me the Kiwi, a flightless bird from bloody New Zealand.

  • 10. What does your 2016 calendar look like? Nearly on point facebook analysis, including dropping the dollars on a Cadillac in May, pleasingly becoming 86% literate in July, and a vacay in Prague with Gerard Cosloy in December. LOL as.